A momentary rant….Insurance Companies are all that is evil….

Allow me to clarify….Health insurance companies are the anti-Christ! 

Dramatic?  Maybe…  Hateful?  Probably….Inaccurate?  No fucking way!!!!

I work in healthcare.  I am a nurse and have been for quite some time.  I know the ins and outs of our convoluted system (to some degree), but I have got to say that it has finally reached unimaginably stupid proportions!!!!

I have insurance, so I am doing better than nearly 45 million others….you would think.  However, yesterday as I went to pick up prescriptions, I was informed that one of my son’s maintenance medications (my 7 year old has asthma and uses Pulmicort) wasn’t “covered.”  OK….”how much?” I ask.  Just $160 !!!  WTF????  Really?????

Here is the thing…  I got the medication.  Because, I could afford it and he NEEDS it. But, all I kept thinking is how many can’t do that?  How does that make any eff’ing sense at all??? 

It doesn’t and here is the reason…. about 2 weeks ago, he had an exacerbation (his asthma acted up during the cold) and the rescue inhaler wasn’t cutting it and we were out of the maintenance.  So, I had to take him to the doctor’s office, where he was prescribed a systemic oral steroid.  That visit and the medication cost ME only (feel the sarcasm in that word) about $85 –about half the medication cost.  But, the insurance company’s portion cost about twice that…

In essence, the insurance company paid the cost of his maintenance drug in one office visit, that might have been prevented with the Pulmicort.   BUT (or BUTT—meaning the ass logic), the insurance company won’t pay that cost.

What I got from this encounter—this joyous interaction with the more than moronic insurance—is that they would rather you get sick and pay more than prevent that occurrence, just in case it might be cheaper.

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID….Not only are they gambling on a greater cost, but the increased long-term effects of having to fix an illness vs. preventing it has huge cost implications for insurance companies….not to mention the toll it takes on a patient.   It makes no sense to pay about $160 an urgent visit (which could be more than once a month) than pay that amount monthly to prevent a visit.  Nor, does it make sense to risk the complication –which are covered and THEY have to pay for. 

Now, I could spend hours debating this—as could most—but I won’t.  I just needed to say—WTF???  Why are we allowing insurance companies to gamble with our health when it isn’t cost effective or logical? And, who the hell is the overpaid (because it is obviously got to be making someone rich) asshole who makes this kind of decision when bartering a kids life????? 

Bastards!

Sit here in your paper gown…

I have the BEST doctor ever!  I swear.  I know that not everyone can say this, but I can.  Dr. Dilley rocks!  
I have been her patient for about seven years now, and have to drive an hour to get to her office.  Totally worth it.  Totally….
I first met her when I was referred to her former partner, and was scheduled with  her accidentally.  No big deal, needed a check up and figured all doctors could do that…..didn’t even consider it an issue (I am a nurse, so I get that this happens).   I changed into my paper gown, ass hanging out, and waited in the room that always seems too cold.  Thankfully, it was a short wait.
And, in walks the doctor….holy cow, “is she even 15 yet?” Is all I can think.  Now, I know everyone starts somewhere, but I was not sure she was old enough to be a doc; well, at least, maybe not my doctor.  She was amazing.
Get this… she sat and talked to me—and LISTENED.  She never poo-poo-ed me (which happens a lot as a nurse—we have self diagnosis issues, I am told) and she was able to support all of her treatment ideas with actual studies.  And, she easily fielded my questions.  The best part?  SHE ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT.  WOW!!! 
So, since that day, she is my doctor.  Although, today at my yearly check up, in my paper gown freezing off my rear, I briefly felt that initial “holy cow.”
She hasn’t aged a bit.  She is still 15 and I am now 7 years older.  Which she, kindly, drove home as she was discussing the pain in my thumb is a “usual site for arthritis.” And, I am “nearing an age for annual mammograms.” I should also start exercising (heard this before, but…), not for weight loss, but because as we “near menopause our muscle mass begins to decline” and those who exercise fair better.  Seriously????  I felt pretty good walking in (except my lawyer called me right before and jacked up my blood pressure), but nearly begged for a walker going out!
I still consider myself young (teens during the 80’s), and often forget my age –not because of dementia, but because I don’t think old.  Yet, I got a solid dose of reality with the visit. 
I still love my doctor, and will drive forever to see her, because she still sat down, talked, listened and asked.  And, she still reads those studies.  She cares.  And, because she does –an apparently I am getting older—I guess I will take the advise.  DAMN IT.

All things evil….ok, just Pinterest.

I have, fairly recently, found Pinterest.  I know.  I am late to the party…always….but, I am here now.  And, all I have to say is, “EVIL!”

That might be a little over the top, but you need to understand that I am not ‘that’ girl.  I only went to Pinterest to see what all the fuss was about; why everyone was talking about what they made/did because of a pin, etc.  I was overwhelmed the first time I went to the site.  Where the hell did all the Martha Stewart-like clones come from…  Holy Shit, it was the Stepford wives (old ass reference—look it up) for crafting.  Does everyone have a crafting blog???

But, it was fascinating—like an accident is—at first, and I found myself wondering.  So after a few forays into pins, I tried one.  FAIL!!!  It looked like I was having some sort of “episode” (the medical kind) while making the damn thing.  “Great,” I thought, “a site to make me feel completely inadequate and lacking in creativity.”  The tragic thing about that thought, is I have never given a shit about crafts or my creativity before.  So, who cares????  Well, I did.  I am kind of an overachiever.

So, like the trooper (aka--obsessed individual) I am, I tried again.  FAIL!!!!  Seriously??? Do I really need to throw away another t-shirt for trying some dumbass no sew project?  YES….  And, I decided that Pinterest wasn’t for me.  Amen!

A few weeks later, in the midst of probably the most turmoil my life has seen (while I believe I live an uneventful everyday life….)—a lawsuit with a narcissistic partner, several government agency surveys at work, more broken than fixed at work (including a somewhat hostile workplace—as if the complete lack of order wasn’t enough), not a clean spot at home, raising two boys who are crazy – and still trying to maintain the relative normalcy that is supposed to exist in suburbia, I sought solace in the happy structure that lives in the PIN.  My life might be utter chaos and a mess, but isn’t that the most amazing use of a milk jug?  Or, what a novel idea for old books.  And, I think if I tried, that craft project could work….

I went back to a site with good outcomes—even though they hadn’t been mine—and tried to garner some semblance of order.  The holidays only helped me along, because I didn’t have friggin’ clue one about what to do for so many in my life when I would rather die than go to a shopping center between Black Friday and New Year’s.  (Someday, I will share THAT joyous story.)  What I found was enthusiasm and hope, with some good tutorials and positive encouragement.   And, I made some kick-ass homemade gifts this year for my friends and family (maybe I will join the masses and blog about that—do NOT hold your breath).  If you find the right pin, it is pretty reaffirming.

But, the reality is, it isn’t about how evil Pinterest is with all those amazing people creating awesome things that I could never fucking do….it was about the upbeat vibe that comes from those who post the projects and assure you it is a “great idea.”  And, MORE than anything else, it was about being able to focus on a project that didn’t require me to spend hours contemplating…but, did require focus and determination and ended with an actual, real, useful and positive outcome. Something that distracted me from all the unbelievable day-to-day shit, but still had a result and could be fairly simple. Have I become a clone?  NO…

What I have become, is someone who is able to suspend the mental torment of thinking of all the things I need to do all the time, and just put together a really neat usable item….and, forget all the bullshit for some time (however long the project took).   I still have my same challenges (e.g., lawsuit continues, ugly behavior between co-workers, crazy kids, etc.), but I also have some nice gifts that provided me with a moments piece of mind, a feeling of accomplishment and some really positive feedback from people who know how AMAZING it is that I did anything remotely crafty, ever. 

I think that I came out ahead, in this regard….thanks to all that EVIL