Some days, it really is just the little things…

About four months ago, I had one of the worst days I have had in a good long while.  Work was a beating (just plain ugliness), home was a mess, our legal case dragging on and too much stuff coming up or pending.  You know the type of day….you can feel the meltdown coming and hope you will not lose your shit in a very public way.  Well, that was the day I was having.

On my way home, I had a long discussion with myself about “if God exists.”   I stopped at the grocery store on the way, and while browsing for dinner and a much needed bottle of wine, I continued my discussion…out loud by myself. 

I realize that I looked insane, arguing with myself, but the conversation was too important to let go.  These were big questions, and I had no insight or answers.  And, none were forthcoming….”Why isn’t there justice?  Why do good things happen to rotten people? How is it fair that there is so much illness and pain?”  BIG questions…

I went through the check out lane and was begging for some sort of sign, or answer, and getting none proceeded to push the cart out.  I made it about 5 feet before the liter bottle of wine I bought (it REALLY was THAT kind of day), slipped through the open leg whole of the cart seat that the bag boy kindly didn’t block with the ‘flap thing’ and landed fully on my exposed big toe. 

I saw stars—to say the least—and proceeded to yelp loudly, drawing a great deal of attention.  Great—I am crying, picking up my wine, glaring at a bag boy and talking to myself—WTH??? 

With the little dignity I could muster, I limped out of the store with my chin up and mascara running and thought, “well that must be a grand answer of sorts!!!”   That revelation really did settle so much…

Why am I telling you this?  Why do you care?  Well…you probably don’t, but I am telling this story because that day I realized that things can get worse, and problems do need to be dealt with however you can, and sometimes you just need the meltdown!  Also, the wine wasn’t a bad idea.  But MOST importantly, I lost that nail and had to wait about 4 months for it to grow back….

Today, I had another (not as bad) crappy day.  And, since the nail grew back, I went and got a pedicure and I am feeling soooooo much better. 

Yes, I won’t apologize for telling that long story to say I got my nails done, because that little thing made a big difference in my day and outlook.  We just need to find the right little things….

What are yours???

 

 

Justice….that Bitch is Blind and RICH!!!

Let me start off by saying that the reason I am dealing with our wonderful (insert sarcastic smirk here) judicial system is a story much too long for a blog post and will most likely be an amazing novel written by me in the future. Suffice it to say that the adage about going into business with friends and family is SPOT ON!

But, for now…I have been afforded (ha-ha) a unique (well maybe not so unique) opportunity to participate in our justice system.   And, let me just say that it is one fucked up process from beginning to end.  Ok, I realize, you are only getting my perspective, but I will assure you that I am presenting from a point of logic and reason.  Because, I am not capable of anything else!!!  

I live an average middle-class life.  I have saved for years and lived under my means on purpose.  That was what I was taught you did…you save for the golden years, so you don’t spend that time worrying about the basics.  And, I had a pretty good savings going.  In addition, we (the hubs and I ) have been gifted a significant inheritance in order to help us through this turmoil.

It will probably be enough to get us through our lawsuit, and start saving again, but just…  And, that is wrong.  WHY????

Because the average person can’t fight back when they are being taken advantage of.  Because if you don’t have a life savings, or can’t afford to lose it all—and who really can?—you won’t have the opportunity to fight being a victim against someone who can pay.  The cost of legally seeking recourse is damned expensive….lawyers are pricey.  But, it isn’t their fault. 

Now….(pause for effect)….. I just had every lawyer joke I have ever told or heard run through my head….followed by a resounding thought of “why isn’t it their fault, they charge that much?”

Yes, they do.  And so do a whole bunch of other professionals (e.g. doctors, accountants, decorators….etc.).  The problem is that when you pay another type of professional a huge hourly fee, they are able to get that shit done in a reasonable timeframe (you finish your appointment and the doctor says “next,” and you stop paying for his/her time).  With the law….not so much. WHY????

Because it isn’t really about who or what is right or wrong.  Nor, is it about what the law states…entirely.  It is about the process of presenting and arguing the law.  I would compare it to a chess game for checker players…on STEROIDS.  And that is because the rules for winning (the law) appear less important than the rules of the game (the practice of presenting your case). 

What I have observed and learned is that the procedures that you follow can determine the facts nearly as much as the facts.  It is like the game Simon Says…if Simon doesn’t say, go back and start again—and good luck winning.  In other words, if your attorney doesn’t present everything like the judge expects and according to all the rules (and like the English language there is an exception to almost every rule), then they need to go back and try again, and again, and again; all while the opposing team is doing the same thing again, and again, and again—and both sides are defending that.  In the meantime, SUCKER, you are paying for all that time.   And it can go on forever….this back and forth BS arguing the rules…before a judge/jury ever actually gets to hear the facts.  So, if you aren’t broke by then, you may get your day in court.

And, you might win….provided the stars align.  But, regardless…Justice, that BITCH, is doing just fine.   Doesn’t feel like justice at all.

Anyone else ever get to experience this joy????